Thanks for your really thoughtful and supportive reply. I would add a third mode that I was talking to Toby about in my reply to him - goofing around mode. Not songs, not practice. Both songs and practice are very goal oriented to me. Sometimes I have to step outside of any goal oriented activity for a while and let myself recharge.
Yes, I think that’s totally right! An important “third mode” that I completely forgot about… but spend some time in myself as well 