It’s always welcome. I like it that here in general, everyone is positive and really friendly in their comments, but sometimes, a bit more criticism - like yours now - is what I miss and is helpful!
In german we say “you run against open doors” at least regarding me in this case. (maybe you heard this proverb)
But if the song was perfect, it would be boring that we couldn’t improve anything until next time
PS. And also, I understand perfectly what Aly states above.
And even if had tried to do a song like that with more of a change between verse and chorus, it would have taken me twice the time and it would have turned out half as nice, being optimistic
It was an enjoyable listen, really nice song. It’s always great to see people doing something together.
I’m always a bit hesitant saying anything critical as I don’t feel like I can do better myself, but anyway. There are two things I want to point out and both are about the solo. It should be a highlight of the song, the highest point (at least with what you have here), but since it’s followed by a pretty energetic verse there’s no contrast and it doesn’t feel that impactful. Making that verse calmer would elevate the whole song instantly, in my opinion. Maybe it’d also be better to have it a bit later in the song, but I’m not sure about that.
And the second thing about the solo itself. It’s nice and fits the overall vibe, but feels kinda stiff. Though I have a hard time saying what exactly would help here. Probably the phrasing thing.
And I’m sure the next project you’ll do together is gonna be even better!
@metramaks
Thank you for taking the time to listen & offer some great feedback!
The whole structure (not sure if thats the right word) of the song changed along the way. The verses were all suppose to be mellow & the choruses energetic. I noticed too that after the first verse it all became the same. When you toss thing from person to person sometimes things got lost in translation.
The solo player is my friend Steve & Steve is a metal guy & Iron Maiden fan & this kind of stuff is just not his thing but he graciously played for us & I appreciate his efforts.
I collaborate to include people & to allow people to join in who otherwise might not get asked or are too shy to volunteer. If the song isnt perfect, I dont care, its fun just work with others & none of us are looking for fame & fortune
I remember when I first learned to play & I was dying to play with others & no one gave me a chance for a long long time. I decided then that I would always try to include people & make them feel welcome no matter their skill level.
Anyway, Im rambling on about nothing again, Thanks you so much for the comments!
Thank you for your honest critique!
On my side, I was never that solo-, licks and riff player, I did more rhythm guitar. For me, the solo is nice, but I think I understand what you mean.
Hopefully I’ll be better soloing after the Blim course!
Edit: I mean - better than I am at the moment - NOT better as Steve!
And thank you for reminding me of that up and down that improve a song (someone somewhere named that “energy curves”). Approaching the end of a song, it’s usually louder and more engergetic most of the time, but at the beginning and center, after a accentuated passage, it’s good to have some relaxation.
I think, Aly explained her point of view above well.
And I’m still new to this stuff and learning - I’m happy to be on the boat and try to only complicate things when I really feel it necessary. I think, being four people involved Aly did a great job of managing the cooperation!
While I dream of an elaborate and democratic songwriting process where a song grows and improves with others giving feedback.
But I call this “dream”, because if I did this at this very moment with more than one other person, it’s bound to produce struggles and disappointments and probably even failure
I have never collabed with anyone until I met Alykat on another forum and im so glad I did! She came to me wanting to collab and i have learned and grew so much as a musician thanks to her!! I have improved vastly in the last year or so. Aly is really great to work with and we work well together!! On top of that… its really fun and a learning experience for me! Especially in recording! Just wish we all lived closer so we could actually jam out in real time lol. Thats another aspect i would like to work on is jamming with others in real time!!!
I use to be strictly solo, but am happy to be collabing with others as its so much more fun and to me more rewarding!!! Even made some friends along the way! Thanks Dom, Steve, Aly and Dlw for allowing for all the collabs!
Big thanks to Aly for leading the way! Shes a great friend and coach and have learned alot about song structure and recording… as well as among other things from her!!
I think this song turned out great personally!! Even though like one said i think it could have used a bridge to change things up more, none the less its awesome!!
I loved Steves solo in it, it reminds me of something that would play in a episode of Dragon Ball Z Lol. Thanks for all the comments!!
The INTRO guitar is amazing. It’s confusing to comment on any one particular as there’s so much in the mix. The electric stands out for me in the middle too- the riff is cool. The lyrics i like, be interesting for a female harmony maybe on some lines. Just to have a different pitch. But you have harmony. Really interesting overall.
Yes, I’m sure it is. And I wasn’t 100% serious when asking as I’m quite sure it’s difficult to hear everything, althrough I tried my best in the mix.
I just found the fact funny that so many different guitars were in that song
Thanks a lot for all your thoughts and comments! In fact Aly had nearly sung a harmony… she will certainly on the next project!
I’m a bit late to the party here, but I just wanted to say well done! That was a fun listen and I enjoyed it a lot. You guys make a great team
My only constructive critique would be to echo what Brian said above about the vocal melody. I can definitely understand wanting to keep the original structure from the kid’s version, though. Makes it more fun to add all the extra instrumentation in!
Overall, great job and I’m looking forward to your next collab
at least regarding me in this case. (maybe you heard this proverb)
