Andrea, now I finally have enough time to send you an as thoughtful reply as your lovely comment deserves
In fact, today, I was busy. It almost felt like a normal work day, no time to feel sorry for myself
I have no intentions to give up on guitar any time soon, but knowing myself, I know that I will need a carrot (or several ) when the dreaded Barre F- chord wall will hit (and it will sooner rather than later) to keep me going. That’s the idea of a Telecaster as a Christmas present for myself, or a better amp… And the idea of singing lessons ( which I know I will hate and love at the same time).
And you are hitting the nail right on the head ( does that one exist in English ?) Straight into the Pudels Kern. It all used to come too easy to me. More than 25 years back when I started learning guitar for the first time, I think I played and sang the first two chord song after one day or maybe after two days. I had no idea that it was supposed to be difficult. Some time later easy fingerstyle and singing? No idea that it was supposed to be difficult. And it worked, far, far, far from good - seen objectively - but good enough for me. And then I hit the Barre chords and wasn’t used to having to fight for something. Tried for a short time, went for a mediocre version of mini-F and stumbled on, only to realize that in order to play really interesting songs, I would have to be able to play Barre chords. Didnt invest time or any kind of patience or trust in myself.
The same thing seems to be happening now. Yes, I do have a naturally good ear for rhythm and music. I don’t know why, it just is like that. This does make certain things easier, but it does also make certain things more difficult. The most critical aspect is the fact that I am impatient. Singing (badly) and playing at the same time is not an issue even now. I can still even now play some simple fingerstyle (with terrible lags between chord changes) and sing to it.
Meaning, there is again the risk that this will keep me from improving the basics - and looking at things objectively, that’s what I would have to do
So once the big F- chord wall will hit, the shock will be bigger than it should be, since I never really had to fight for anything when it comes to my super low beginner level playing. I have always been complacent, always played easy songs only and never really practiced … much at least. I mainly played songs and I am still doing that now. I lack the fundamental discipline to repeat and practice things that I am not good at.
So it’s the F- chord and Barre chords in general, wo sich bei mir die Nackenhaare aufstellen (let’s spam the forum with German idioms and make people think, what on earth is this ).
But no, I have no intentions to give up. This time, I am not doing it alone. And that’s why I am really, really fond of this great community I found here