Hi Yannick,
I know this is an older post, but I just came across it and really related to a lot of what you wrote.
I was officially diagnosed with ADHD late last year at 47 years old, after going through the process of autism diagnoses with my daughters. While I’m only formally diagnosed with ADHD, I suspect I may actually be AuDHD.
That being said, none of that makes me an expert 
I can only share some patterns I’ve noticed in myself and what has and hasn’t worked for me.
There are already some great replies here, including from other ADHD players, and you’ll probably notice both similarities and some major differences with what I’m about to say. I think that’s important. ADHD or not, we’re all different in our mental makeup, experiences and preferences, so take whatever is useful to you and happily leave the rest 
Some of what I’m going to say might also sound a little paradoxical. I’ve gradually learned that something that works extremely well for me in one part of my life can be completely counterproductive in another. A lot depends on context, time and energy.
I’m 48 now, with a family, a full-time corporate job and plenty of responsibilities. The energy I have available at the end of a long working day is very different from what I might have had when I was younger with fewer responsibilities. That’s not to say learning guitar is easy for someone younger either, learning any instrument takes time and effort, but I’ve learned that I have to take into account not only what I want to accomplish, but how much mental and physical energy I actually have available when I sit down to do it.
Structure - but not too much structure
One of the biggest things I learned was that I need structure, but not too much structure. And like you, I’ve struggled with discipline.
What I’ve gradually discovered, though, is that trying to make myself more disciplined with guitar often has the opposite effect.
I’m actually extremely organized and systematic in my work life. I’m an IT manager, so calendars, task lists, project management tools, reminders, goals, measurements, KPIs… that’s basically my entire working day A large part of my life already requires discipline and constantly managing things that need to get done.
So when I tried applying those same systems to guitar, it started making something I wanted to do feel like another thing I had to do. I don’t want my hobby reminding me about everything I haven’t achieved yet.
What has worked much better for me is lowering the bar enough that I don’t need much discipline to get started, while still keeping a very loose framework around my practice.
A typical practice might contain:
- something I know I need but don’t particularly enjoy, kept very short, maybe five minutes or even one or two;
- something I genuinely want to develop, even though it requires effort and repetition;
- and something that’s there purely because I enjoy playing it.
Wherever possible, I connect those things to actual music.
Right now, for example, I’m relearning Sweet Home Chicago. I can work on rhythm using the song, spend a little time learning part of the solo, and then finish by simply playing or improvising over something I enjoy.
But here’s the important bit for me:
I’m allowed to throw the entire framework out the window 
If I’ve had a long day and don’t have the mental energy for concentrated practice, I might just improvise over a backing track. Some nights I’ve literally picked up the guitar while half asleep, played over one two- or three-minute backing track and called it a night.
Other nights I play for two hours and have to remind myself that I really should go to bed Most nights naturally fall somewhere around 30–60 minutes.
I think lowering the bar has probably been one of the most useful things I’ve done.
When I started guitar three years ago, I wasn’t practicing an hour or two every day. Sometimes ten minutes was plenty, especially when my fingers hurt. The important thing was simply making picking up the guitar a normal part of my life. Eventually the longer sessions happened by themselves.
Showing up rather than measuring up
That’s also why I’ve stopped relying very much on motivation or trying to constantly discipline myself into practicing.
I learned this partly through Jiu-Jitsu, which I’ve now trained for five years. I have certain days when I train. I don’t wait until I’m motivated to go. I just go.
But I don’t mean that in the “just do it!” sense. I actually hate that kind of advice
The important change for me was changing what the goal was.
Instead of my goal being get better at Jiu-Jitsu, perform well tonight, or learn X number of techniques, the initial goal became simply:
Show up.
Go to training.
And with guitar:
Pick up the guitar.
That’s enough.
Some days I’m switched on at Jiu-Jitsu and have a great session; other days I can barely drag myself through class. Both count, because I showed up. The same applies to guitar. Some nights I might accomplish something I’m really proud of. Other nights I play for three minutes while practically falling asleep.
Both count.
Once showing up becomes a habit, then I can start putting a little more structure around it.
That’s an important distinction for me because I see a lot of advice about setting goals, measuring progress, tracking practice and comparing where you are now with where you were a month ago. None of that is necessarily bad advice. I actually do some of it now.
But personally, I find it counterproductive when I’m still at the stage of trying to establish the habit itself.
I spend all day measuring things at work. I don’t want my last hour of the evening to have KPIs too
After a few years of music becoming part of my life, I can now measure certain things without it feeling oppressive because the habit already exists underneath the measurement.
Guitar has gradually become something I normally do in the evening because that’s simply part of my life now. But I deliberately give myself permission to have a day off whenever I need it. It’s not even a scheduled rest day. If I’m exhausted on Wednesday, Wednesday can be it. Other times, I can practice daily for weeks without taking a single day off.
Strangely, knowing that I don’t have to practice makes it easier for me to practice.
Learning to stop fighting myself
The other big thing I’ve had to work on is how judgmental I can be towards myself:
Why can’t I stick with one thing? Why did I stop playing blues? Why am I playing alt-rock now? Why did I suddenly spend eight months playing bass? Why can’t I finish this song before getting interested in another one?
Eventually I started realizing that maybe constantly fighting the way my brain naturally learns wasn’t actually helping me learn.
Ian (@Prof_Thunder) mentioned learning in a circular way earlier in this thread, and that really clicked with me. He described periodically introducing something new and later circling back to what you’d previously been learning so it doesn’t become monotonous.
I think of my own learning as more of a spiral.
I might become fascinated with a song and hyperfocus on it for weeks or months. Eventually I reach a point where I’m bored with it or even starting to resent it. Instead of forcing myself through that because I think I’m supposed to finish it, I’ve learned that sometimes it’s okay to park it.
I’ll go play something else. Maybe even switch instruments.
Then a few months later I circle back, except I’m not actually returning to the same place. I’ve learned other things in the meantime, and suddenly I hear or play things I couldn’t before.
Guitar helped my bass playing. Bass changed the way I hear rhythm and groove on guitar. Jiu-Jitsu taught me things about practice and repetition that changed how I approach music. Things seem to build on each other even when they don’t look related at the time.
That has probably been one of the biggest changes for me: learning to work with the way I learn instead of constantly judging myself for not learning the way I think I’m supposed to.
The same applies to teachers. If I’m given a song that just doesn’t connect with me, I’ll give it an honest try. But if I’ve spent a week fighting myself every time I sit down to practice it, I’ll tell my teacher. I’ll ask whether we can find a song I actually enjoy that teaches the same musical idea.
Thankfully I’ve had teachers who were willing to work with me that way, and it made an enormous difference 
So if I had to boil down what has helped me…
- Lower the bar.
- Keep some structure, but keep it loose.
- Build the habit of showing up rather than waiting for or trying to force motivation.
- Connect practice to music you genuinely enjoy.
- Give yourself permission to have low-energy days.
- And don’t automatically assume that wandering away from something means you’ve failed at it.
You said something in your original post that actually stood out to me: guitar is one of those things you always come back to.
Maybe there’s something worth noticing in that 
Maybe sticking with something doesn’t always look like never wandering away.
Sometimes it looks like continuing to come back
I wrote a reflection a while ago when I was exploring and trying to understand how I learn, which is where I started thinking about this idea of learning in spirals. It isn’t specifically about ADHD or learning music, although I hint at the first and do talk about the second. If any of this sounds interesting to you, you might find something useful in it:
The Spiral Path — Embers & Tides
Anyway, I hope at least some of that makes sense and is useful. These are just patterns I’ve noticed in myself, and they change depending on my energy, stress and what’s happening elsewhere in my life.
So as I said at the beginning: take whatever works for you and leave whatever doesn’t. 
