All Day Couchers

I’m like the buses. Not seen for ages and then two songs in one day.

A little song I wrote waiting to get through on a telephone help line yesterday. Still ropey and sticky in places but here it is nonetheless.

ALL DAY COUCHERS
He Walks the road just to kill the time
The air is free and the sights are good
No one can see the broken eyes
Of a soul concealed by a pulled down hood
Ten past help he’ll cry for saving
Can’t find a healin ear to listen
From the dried river bed of dignity
As the last tear forms his cheek to glisten

(Chorus) All day couchers, take a ticket please
Sit and warm in a waiting rooms
But A free travel pass won’t feed a man
When he’s hungry by the afternoon

Stay up at night to fight the dawn
Of another day in his great land
His futile war of stopping time
He never found one, not to mind two hands
The half full glass hits the dirty ground
Falling from his limping hand
The hope died fast of better times
When Ann and Barry played with sand

The winter sends its leaving card
He climbs upon the bottom rung
He’ll find the key or melody or
The lyrics of a better song
Wrap up your coat and wait for spring
The sun will bring a better time
The air is free and sights are good
And it sure tastes better with a less chilled wine

(Chorus)

*Ann and Barry were characters in Irish primary school first reader books. They never saw a hard day.

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Wow - that’s wonderful songwriting, right up my street. Love the space you use in the song, perfect accompaniment to a beautiful vocal.

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oh, I love this one too. It’s both beautiful and poignant - particularly the way it builds up then strips back to bare notes at the end.

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Great stuff again Dom. Smashing another one out of the park. Good to see you back and sounding better than ever.

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Too kind Maths

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Glad you liked it sound bound

Thanks a million Eddie. Good to be back posting. Glad to hear from you

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Strong are the lyrics are with this one :pray:
Simon says… Listen!

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Hi Dom,
Very special and of a super high level… :sunglasses:
:clap: :sunflower:
Greetings

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Thanks very much Roger for your replies. It’s quite sticky and in need of a bit of finery. I’m sick in bed at the minute so it will have to wait until healthier times.

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:watermelon: :apple: :tomato: :grapes: :bell_pepper: :teapot:
Good luck and wish you a quick ( re)cover (y)
Greetings

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Still a bit of tinkering to do Brian. A couple of forced jigsaw pieces in there that don’t sit right in my stomach.

I’ll get there

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Second revision with backing (myself) and change in some lyrics

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Hi there Dom,

I thought this was an awesome original song. You did amazing.

Jeff

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Okay Dom, listen now and listen real good-
You had a decent original there (no mean feat!), but with the second voice harmonies (I wouldn’t call them chorals) and modified lyrics, you now have a cracker :firecracker:
Very Simon & Garfunkelesque :smiley:
It might be interesting to see whether adding a second guitar voice would have a similar effect as with the vocals :thinking:
Either way, I’d ask one of the mods to split this version into the ‘originals’ category to give it a bit more profile/traction
Yer suckin’ diesel now, man! :sunglasses:

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Brilliant Dom. I wasn’t sure how you could improve on the first version but you did that in spades. Fabulous stuff altogether!

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Very talented dom ,I liked this a lot .this song is one where it makes you think :thinking:

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Thanks brother. Getting there

Getting there slowly Eddie

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I feel I’m hearing you but missing something in the listening :laughing:

You are correct with harmonies.

I did try to play my own seconds on a different track but don’t have the skill to achieve what my mind wanted to hear. I have a good friend with those skills though.

Regarding ‘originals’? I thought this was already in originals.

I have been known to suck diesel. Kerosene specifically. Keep 911 on standby. :grimacing: