I’m like the buses. Not seen for ages and then two songs in one day.
A little song I wrote waiting to get through on a telephone help line yesterday. Still ropey and sticky in places but here it is nonetheless.
ALL DAY COUCHERS
He Walks the road just to kill the time
The air is free and the sights are good
No one can see the broken eyes
Of a soul concealed by a pulled down hood
Ten past help he’ll cry for saving
Can’t find a healin ear to listen
From the dried river bed of dignity
As the last tear forms his cheek to glisten
(Chorus) All day couchers, take a ticket please
Sit and warm in a waiting rooms
But A free travel pass won’t feed a man
When he’s hungry by the afternoon
Stay up at night to fight the dawn
Of another day in his great land
His futile war of stopping time
He never found one, not to mind two hands
The half full glass hits the dirty ground
Falling from his limping hand
The hope died fast of better times
When Ann and Barry played with sand
The winter sends its leaving card
He climbs upon the bottom rung
He’ll find the key or melody or
The lyrics of a better song
Wrap up your coat and wait for spring
The sun will bring a better time
The air is free and sights are good
And it sure tastes better with a less chilled wine
(Chorus)
*Ann and Barry were characters in Irish primary school first reader books. They never saw a hard day.
Thanks very much Roger for your replies. It’s quite sticky and in need of a bit of finery. I’m sick in bed at the minute so it will have to wait until healthier times.
Okay Dom, listen now and listen real good-
You had a decent original there (no mean feat!), but with the second voice harmonies (I wouldn’t call them chorals) and modified lyrics, you now have a cracker
Very Simon & Garfunkelesque
It might be interesting to see whether adding a second guitar voice would have a similar effect as with the vocals
Either way, I’d ask one of the mods to split this version into the ‘originals’ category to give it a bit more profile/traction Yer suckin’ diesel now, man!
I feel I’m hearing you but missing something in the listening
You are correct with harmonies.
I did try to play my own seconds on a different track but don’t have the skill to achieve what my mind wanted to hear. I have a good friend with those skills though.
Regarding ‘originals’? I thought this was already in originals.
I have been known to suck diesel. Kerosene specifically. Keep 911 on standby.