Wow! I’m not sure what else to say at the moment! Thank you so much @Richard_close2u!! I’ll go away, listen to and read what you’ve done to the song. Can’t thank you enough!!
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The main hope I have is that you like any of the suggestions and can make use of them here or in future songs you compose and record.
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That he’s a freak ( vak idioot 
(always well-intentioned, this word in this language) who clearly needs a hobby…maybe? 
Ooo Richard @Richard_close2u you’ve outdone yourself… again 
I’ll delve deeper into this later …
Greetings and all the best to you I can come up with 
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I’ll have an indepth look and listen this evening. My defence for all of the embellishments is too much engagement with Justin’s chord explorer lessons!
Thanks again!
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Haha, you talk of “some” ideas
No I’ll try to go through the song and your suggestions carefully so I can learn a few things too!
Maybe there could be a song improvements suggestion section where people can post ideas or half ready songs or songs they don’t feel so sure about (that they possibly wouldn’t dare to post under “originals” at the moment. Uhm, I mean possibly one day. And If it’s not me alone who would use it.
Well, I should rather think things through before talking
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@Richard_close2u I’ve had a read and listen and I’ve learned loads! It definitely does sound better at the higher tempo. Just been playing about with it and it’s definitely easier from a timing point of view, and definitely adds energy to the song. The new drum patterns are also a definite improvement, as is the bass line - I’ve definitely learned a lot about dynamics! I can’t thank you enough for the time and effort you’ve put in to improve this song (and any other songs I write from now on!).
@domi7’s idea is a great one! Maybe it’s already a part of the Collaborations section? e.g. “Here’s a song I’ve taken as far as I can, and here’s a link to where you can find all the DAW files - anyone interested in collaborating to make it better?”
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I love coops and (trying to) helping others!
If you’d like that, maybe… me personally I’d rather like to talk to people before I share all of my tracks.
But yes, something like you say would be nice!
Some coops in the pipeline here, but not sure when we can finish them.
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Ah - good point @domi7, I’d definitely want to know someone a bit better before sharing files.
This is your first full song? I couldn’t say! super congrats!
I can’t add anything to @Richard_close2u detailed feedback - how generous and lots of good ideas in there for anyone who tries to write songs …
Now waiting for the next song!
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Thanks for the kind words @MollyT!
OK, here’s an updated version based on excellent advice from @Richard_close2u. I’ve rerecorded all the tracks and:
Upped the tempo, made the chorus drums a bit better, changed the strumming pattern at bits, changed the bass line (full writing credit to Richard), replaced the acoustic guitars with clean electric.
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