Wow, so much in this thread I want to cover, not just the OP, but a lot of the comments, here I go.
First, I love seeing more metal and thrash on these forums, when I first came here they were few and far between so seeing the crunchier side of music becoming even more mainstream thrills me.
I’ll do the hard stuff first, the criticism. And I hope this is all taken constructively. The timing is off (late), I could tell within the first two bars. Overall it was also not properly “crunchy”, the tone yes, but not the fingers. I want to advise you to practice two specific techniques outside of the song itself.
First is timing. The problem here is in your syncopation (the “up” notes or the “ands”). For this I recommend using a metronome to play any scale (good scale practice) using 8th notes, up and down picks. So one bar: one scale run. Then after a bit running through it stop playing the downs and just the ups and concentrate HARD to make sure the space needed for the downs is there, but it’s perfectly silent. If done right is should sound like a machine, click-C-click-D-click-E-click-F…etc…
The other technique is muting which you’ll need to practice for the timing example I already gave. The key to metal (or more specifically thrash where Metallica is concerned) is those tight aggressive notes and that can only be realized fully once you master the muting. Justin has great lessons on muting so hit those.
There are tons of syncopation/muting exercises out there. When learning a new technique, practicing them strictly in the context of a song can cause you to lose focus on the technique itself. I advise taking a week or two, just 15 minutes per day, and focus intently on those two techniques SLOWLY until you feel the space in between the notes. Then come back to the song and see how it feels.
Thrash and Metal live really close to my heart
As for the song being hard, it can be… until you get those two techniques down. Please, don’t misunderstand me, I liked it A LOT. I love that you’re learning and posting it! Keep it up, you’ve got the song down for sure. There was a little triplet you did at 4:44 that made me think it should be there in the original song, lol. Sounded totally metal.
Black Sabbath are considered the fathers of modern metal music. I don’t think there’s much debate about that. Some people include Zeppelin and Deep Purple in the same class as Sabbath but the subject matters for most true metal music are social issues, government overreach and corruption, and religion. Not strictly, but mostly.
“Paranoid” by Black Sabbath is totally metal and about a social issue. In my autistic brain it is totally about my autism. And this song was written before anyone really understood what autism was. Very telling of Ozzy.
Maiden’s totally Heavy Metal for sure but a lot of people don’t include them because their subject matter is mostly about historical events. I do because they kick a$$. Van Halen and GnR are just considered hard rock strictly because of the subject matter (more happy, lots of Major keys).
The big four: Metallica, Megadeth, Slayer and Anthrax are technically thrash, not metal.
And it’s true that Metallica sort of switched to a more commercially acceptable hard rock song structure with metal guitar tones on the insistence of the producer of the Black Album, Bob Rock. But I’m convinced it was more because Cliff Burton (bassist, who was classically trained in music theory by his mother, a concert pianist) died and Dave Mustaine (lead guitarist) was out of the band. They were both major contributors to Metallica’s early sound. James can’t write that way on his own. Mustaine took the thrash with him.
But, I digress. Bring on more rock or metal or grunge or whatever …
I still listen to Slayer. A lot. Their lead singer is the bassist.
I leave you with this, even Metallica has trouble playing the notes in between and you can hear how much muting is needed.