Hi Eddie,
That was a beautiful heart-warming song. I pray for a strong recovery for Killian. I remember listening to the last version you posted a while back. I have yet to write any song at all let a lone a meaningful one like this. I like how you suspend your first finger while strumming-adds to the flavor. I think it sounds great as is.
Jeff
Thanks Dom. I really appreciate the good wishes for the family. Last year was a tough one so it was good to see the back of it and start fresh again in 2023.
I am glad you like the song and really appreciate your feedback. I tried getting into songwriting a while back and wrote a fair bit of rubbish but I suppose it now seems like practice, and plus it gave me a feeling for what worked and more importantly what didn’t. In addition I think I was trying to force it a bit, with the result that there was no feeling or emotion in what I was doing. Nowadays i don’t even think about sitting down to write a song, as usually an idea will pop into my head and the song ends up basically writing itself. It’s always with the gut and comes out how it feels inside me. Not everyone will like it but its more important that it means something to me. If I touch anyone else with it then it’s a bonus. Noel Gallagher once said that nobody can sing or play “your song” as well as you , as it’s your song and you are the one who brings the most emotion to it. There is something in that.
Thanks again Dom and keep doing what you are doing!
Eddie
Thanks so much Jeff especially for the good wishes for Killian! It means a lot to me. Keep doing what you are doing Jeff and that song you want to write will come along someday!
Best wishes to you and your family =)
Your playing give me the vibes of Jack Johnson “Upside Down”. Sometimes being bland is totally fine, just need to nail the feeling and vibes. After all the variations and layers of music (drums, synthesizer) can be added by mixing engineer 
Thank you Vincent for taking the time to listen and provide feedback and also for your good wishes!
Great performance @Eddie_09 . I can see the argument for a chorus, although because the melody line is so beautiful I can see why you were reluctant to leave it! Maybe a bridge to break the tension of the repeated melody? I’m saying that, but I don’t really know what I’m talking about - it’s just that I could almost feel the song wanting to lift off into a bridge or chorus. I think it would only have to do it once. Or maybe add a solo over the chord progression when you record it. I’m a sucker for adding gratuitous solos to song tho so take that suggestion with a grain of salt.
And I’m very glad to hear your boy is on the mend.
Thank you John for the feedback. I posted this about a month ago and have been tweaking the song a little with all the comments I have received and I will take on board your feedback also. I Really appreciate you taking the time to listen and to comment !
I’m playing serious catch-up this morning, Eddie … what on earth was with me in Jan, missed too many songs when they were first posted, including this.
Good job on the song, the lyrics and as Sylvia said, a soothing, almost trance-inducing rhythmic accompaniment. I enjoy your singing, has that earthy emotive vibe that I enjoy.
From a feedback perspective, which as Brian said is always harder on an original for me and more so on such a personal song, I think the fact that you have a verse and chorus structure means it would benefit from something to help the chorus stand out a little more. That could be achieved in many ways … vocally, playing dynamics, strumming patterns, a bass/melody walk into the chorus, a pause in playing, and I’m sure lots of other things.
That said, it was engaging and evocative as you shared.
I trust that the first third of '23 has been more kind and easier on you all.
Thank you David for your kind words and your review of the song. Since I wrote this I have taken quite a lot of comments from posters on board and have tweaked the song. I am also playing catch up and don’t have the time at present to listen to as many posts as I used to and have missed quite a lot. I am slowly trying to work through posts I have missed but it’s taking some time.
Just catching up on this and although you said you didn’t write it for a pat on the back, I’d like to give you one 
you have the kernel of a good song here and one that is close to your heart, I’m sure as your skill improves so will song. Other member have already offered some great advice and encouragement on things to develop, I’m looking forward to hearing how it grows and what you do with it. Great job 
Thanks so much Lee. I appreciate you taking the time to listen and comment. Thankfully since I wrote that song Killian has been given the all clear from the neurosurgeon. Cheers again for checking it out!