For a long time I hesitated to write this one, but I just need to release this frustration and share it with JG community.
So I started learning guitar in early 2021, that’s 4.5+ years now. I haven’t started young either at the age of 32 which is big handicap and personally I do not believe in “never too late” mentality. Despite that I never had big ambitions with guitar. I do not intend to play in band nor to be a professional, it’s strictly hobby/amateur level. At this age with obligations and daily worries I do not have time/patience/passion to put hours and hours every day in guitar as I could with every little thing when I was a kid. On a side note, I sometimes feel bit jealous when I read how many of you “can’t put guitar down for more than a day”. I could easily have months without playing guitar and if I do not have discipline I’d give up on guitar altogether. However, I still manage to practice 1 hour a day most of the time, except weekends when it’s family time.
Now with this rant over, I can share what exactly frustrates me. So I followed JG lessons since beginning and as soon as I reached basic fingerstyle lesson with Happy Birthday song I put that into my practice routine. That’d be like 3 years of practicing basic fingerstyle Happy Birthday arrangement almost every practice session (2-3 minutes out of 1 hour practice time). Recently there was birthday and I still mess up that simplest fingerstyle arrangement. The one I practiced hundreds if not thousand times. I already can grasp quite advanced concepts and I can play most of barre chords (E shape, A shape, D shape). I learnt CAGED patterns, modes, music theory, etc… Yet I still mess up most basic things. Even in some simple campfire songs I still get bad sounding chords. C to G to Am to F progression and it still sounds sloppy. Despite practicing F chord for almost 4 years.
When I heard Justin saying in lesson (and also read online) that to master a F chord you’ll need a year I just wanna throw guitar in first trash can or wanna get new pair of hands… 4 years of using F chord and simple fingerstyle arrangement I still mess it up. Is there some issue with me (more likely) or am I doing something wrong? I hear many times don’t practice same things over and over again and I agree to an extent, but how can I move to practicing something else when I still can’t get clean Happy Birthday fingerstyle? Also, when strumming simple “old faithful” it still happens that my hand “glitches and gets stuck” for a brief moment.
Honestly these problems are seriously killing my will for guitar. If in 4 years I’m this bad I just feel it’s big waste of my time to spend another 4 years for marginal improvements. I’m not even having some cheap crap guitar which is handicapping me, so I’m either doing something wrong or something is wrong with my hands/brain
Hi sky,
It’s a pity to read that you still haven’t found your way, I see a pattern of your topics with many struggles over the years.
As for making mistakes when playing simple songs or any songs that should be easy after practicing for so long, I wonder how many times have you played them for other people or seriously attempted to record a video? that changes the entire dynamics in our (my sometimes extreme with difficult first things) brains and therefore our fingers… after I try to record a song I notice how much I still have to practice and then it only starts to become something while I actually thought I could do it allready…
Maybe it would be very helpful for you to meet a teacher face to face and develop more stability/confidence etc. or something like that or specifiek seeing hearing what/if doing wrong???
It’s a bit difficult for me to give advice without even a bit of video material…
But I hope that good and better tips will follow and that you don’t lose your mojo any further and find mainly fun…
Fun is the only thing that makes me pick up that piece of wood with strings every day
As someone who started relatively late in life and has no ambitions to become a professional performer, I can understand where you come from. However, I don’t think any hobby is worth being frustrated with; after all, hobbies are there to have fun with them.
I think that a lot of people tend to have too high expectations regarding playing guitar or making music in general. Out of all humanity, the number of artists we enjoy / look up to / consider role models is very very small. If repetition would be all it took to master anything, everybody would be able to learn any skill at the highest level possible. Alas, that’s not what happens.
The first thing I would do would be to take a step back and see where you started and where you are now and be proud of your achievements, however small they seem to be. Nobody can take those away from you.
The second would be to be more forgiving with yourself and acknowledge the limitations you face, whether they are related to your skillset or to external factors (family, job, health, etc). It’s not a coincidence that the musicians with the best technique are the ones who started at a young age - they had much more time to learn those skills and the daily routine of children, especially those attending music schools, accommodates extensive practice time more easily.
Also, maybe guitar is not the instrument that fits you the most. If you like playing and learning music theory, you could try something else, like the bass, or some keyboard instrument, for example. Those will also require practice, but the skillset might be different enough to make the learning process easier.
But the most important thing is not to get hung up about hobbies. If one is not entertaining enough, you can find a new one anytime.
Playing guitar is hard. My first attempt at it was almost 25 years ago. I’ve had a couple starts and stops over the years and nothing stuck until just over 2yrs ago. My biggest goal is to find enjoyment in it where I can, even if that means playing the same 2 or 3 songs over and over. Right now I spend most of my guitar time enjoying songs and then at the end of my time I’ll spend a little time practicing something.
You’re not doing as badly as you think, I expect. Go to an open mic event and just watch and talk to the musicians. Everybody screws stuff up. I attended one last night and the guy who organizes it is a good player (and a better singer) who has been playing music professionally for 20yrs and he flubbed one of his own songs that he wrote. All of the musicians messed up at least once.
The guitar club I’m in brings in professional guest musicians for presentations every month and they all mess up quite a bit. It doesn’t detract from their performances. On the contrary, it makes them more real and relatable.
Try not to get sucked into the trap of perfection. As you said, you’re an adult with a family and a busy life doing this for a hobby.
Firstly, I’d suggest throwing Happy Birthday fingerstyle in the trash (as opposed to your guitar), and leaving the tune there for at least a few months.
It appears your ROI with this tune has diminished to the point where the effort is simply not paying off anymore - its only causing ongoing frustration.
A few years of doing the same thing over and would drive anyone bananas.
Secondly, I"d concur with @roger_holland regarding seeking a teacher; even if its only a one off to really have a look at your form and technique. After 4+ years on say an F chord, there must be obvious technique errors that you are unaware of.
You may find just these 2 provide a positive way forward.
Well I would say that 32 is quite young for this forum
Seriously many people start at 50 or 60.
As someone mentioned, perhaps some videos would help people to give you more advice where you could improve.
I’ve been advancing ok in the last 2 years but I can’t play happy birthday fingerstyle either and found it enormously frustrating. If you look on the thread for that tune you will see that so many people find it seriously challenging. So I wouldn’t worry much about that.
I started at…43 I think, three years and three months ago. I still don’t like that fingerstyle Happy Birthday song. I practice it now and then but I just don’t like it. What my Happy Birthday level of frustration song is is that Lickn Riff blues riff that Justin taught. Holy crap after three years of consistent practice my fingers still just can’t move correctly. Its getting better but it’s baffling how stinking long I’ve practiced it and it still sounds like garbage. And I still can’t do a C chord very well (always get a buzzed note) or move to the D chord very fast because most always all the fingers have to move to get to the D. Oh well.
Just saying, you’re not alone. Just throw a song out if it makes you disheartened and move on to something else. Come back to it after a year and see if it seems easier.
I have been playing guitar since 2010 and I still not a good guitarist. I also had teachers and I also follow jc structured lessons. But I still push every day . I put in at least 1/2 hour or more every day and push on . Good luck on the fun journey.
I know that Justin recommends small time blocks for practice, and I am no teacher, but this seems too short a time to practice a song. For myself, I don’t make any progress on a new piece unless I devote 10-15 minutes of concentrated practice.
If you do want to try to conquer Happy Birthday (or learn any song, for that matter), I would suggest longer practice times. If you don’t have the time for it on a daily basis, spend 15 minutes twice a week. I think you will make more progress that way.
Why on earth would anyone want to play Happy Birthday fingerstyle?
Learn the chords then belt that out while the birthday boy/girl blows out the candles on their cake.
I have to admit I’ve felt the same way. Some of the guys who commented here can confirm I quit a couple years ago out of frustration and eventually came back. The most important thing to remember is the journey is yours alone. You don’t have to master every single thing Justin teaches step by step. I still can’t finger pick a song after 4 years. It doesn’t bother me because I can strum the song in time and I’ll eventually master fingerpicking. I can’t play the full f in a song but I sure play the helll out of the mini f in many different songs. It’s just the bottom half of a full chord and don’t feel bad if you can’t.
Pace yourself and appreciate the small victories even if it’s a basic song like g-c9-em and d. You know how many people appreciate and give tips for simple 4 chord songs out there? Plenty. Learn what you need to in order to play your favorite songs. Use this community as a support system. We’re like a family here so reach out when you feel like you’re struggling.
Many years ago I worked with a woman (Joan) whose musical ambition was to join the worship band at her church… she was about 25 & chose guitar since the guitarist in the band was an elderly gentleman with arthritis that was bad enough to cause him pain every time he played guitar. So Joan bought a nice electric guitar, a good amp & started lessons. Joan changed teachers several times, bought a couple of different guitars, had them set up differently… all to no avail, she couldn’t seem to find her groove! Knowing that I played, she brought her favorite guitar in to work so I could evaluate it - nothing wrong with it, I could get through a couple of songs & it sounded fine. She told me that she was going to give it one more month & if there wasn’t any significant difference, she was going to give up. A couple of weeks later, at the music store while waiting for her guitar teacher, she picked up a short-scale bass & started noodling around. When the teacher got there & saw her with the bass, he told her to bring it into the lesson room. After her guitar lesson (which turned out to be a disaster), he gave her a short lesson on bass playing. She never did figure out why but bass guitar really “clicked” with her. She took that bass home with her, sold all her guitars & never looked back! Her band played a gig at a work event once & she totally rocked on bass!
So the moral of the story is that possibly instead of giving up, you could try a different path to musical satisfaction!!! Give your guitars to your kids, take up another instrument & start a family band!!! It has been known to happen!!!
You might just being too hard on yourself. Do you ever play in front of your family or friends? If so, what do they think? I’m gathering you haven’t posted any videos here based on others comments but have you videoed yourself to document your growth? If not I suggest you do so then look back at where you started.
I am a perpetual tweener between grade 2 and 3. My work/life imbalance gets in the way of progressing like I would like but I can look back to where I started and where I am now and see I’m better and can play some songs I like from memory.
Also acknowledge we all have strengths and weaknesses. I have a friend who can move all over the fretboard and play licks and improvise over someone else’s strumming but struggles to find a good strumming groove. I on the other hand can get into good grooves with basic chords but struggle moving up and down the fretboard and improvisation. The funny thing is he is envious of my ability to strum with a groove while I am envious of his ability to improvise and play all the licks he does.
Finally, even the pros make mistakes. I have heard my favorite band botch the lyrics to a song they play at virtually all their shows. I hear Keith Richard’s calling a start over on a live version of “You Got the Silver” that pops up on my Spotify.
And last night I totally botched an open mic but am resolved to move on from it and not let it get me down. I guess what I am saying is don’t dwell on what isn’t working and focus on what you can do now that you couldn’t when you started. And like others have said, maybe give Happy Birthday a rest. If you really want to learn finger style, maybe start with something simpler that doesn’t involve hitting a bass string at the same time as treble strings.
(edited because I shouldn’t reply from my phone - darned auto correct )
I think you need to reflect and evaluate if you enjoy playing.
If you do: stick to it. If you don’t, quit. This is a hobby that is meant to be fun. If it’s not, why do it? Too many people stick doing things they don’t like because they feel they have to keep going (great podcast on this at The Upside of Quitting - Freakonomics).
I’m not going to try to encourage you to stick to doing something you don’t enjoy. There is no destination here! The playing you are doing now is playing guitar. Sure, you will get better at it over time, but there will always be things that are hard and things that are easy.
If you do love guitar, though - give yourself a break from the pressure. Play what you enjoy, practice what you enjoy, and learn songs you want to learn. We all have different things we find easier and harder. Work out what yours are.
There’s also already some good advice on here about seeing an in person teacher or posting videos to get a gauge on what you might be doing wrong.
Hey SkyBlue…I understand you feel bad about this, I also used to feel much frustration in the past and I much felt the struggle.
What helped me hugely was to build a skill-oriented mindset and focus on the skills more than on songs: this way songs became just a mean to develop my skills and not the goal…I know! This sounds weird! But what do I do, I wasn’t able to play songs…there was too much going on for my poor little brain! It’s clear that in the end being able to play songs is what we all aim to!
As regards Happy Birthday…It seems to me you really want to be able to play it, otherwise you wouldn’t have persisted this much. A chord melody is a complex thing. My suggestion is to approach it differently…start from the Melody line only and add the chords when you are super confident with that. This was my approach
I love chord melodies deeply and I put so much effort and time into developing the skills for playing them…so I hope you’ll take my suggestion into consideration.
Part of the answer is learning how to enjoy practice. I recently heard an interview with an elite sportsperson Ellyse Perry. She is an all time great in her sport, multiple world cup winner etc. But I was intrigued to hear that she enjoys practice even more than playing an actual game. There is something in that, enjoying the process is necessary to achieve your desired result. Just some food for thought.
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