Soā¦ Yeah, it happenned, I wrote a song that I donāt hate 
I quite like the vibe of it and I intend to record it āsemi-professionallyā some day.
The thing that worries me most about it is that there is not an instrumental section to include a solo or anything, and I really didnāt expect it to go to the 5 minute mark like it did, maybe feels a little too repetitive.
Anyway, leave your comments/honest opinions here.
Cheers!
Nice. Keep them coming. 
How cool is that!!
Supercool! I want to see more!
Hi Kevin that sounded great. Lots of nice lyrics and some nice chord progressions. Now I am not a proficient ( or even prolific) song writer but I would write what you be got out and focus on getting it into a - relatively - standard structure. Intro ( couple of runs through verse bars), Verse , Chorus etc, Bridge and perhaps outro.
I think whenever Iāve done this it starts to show where I need to add more or take away. Song writing is very much a pruning and adding process. With the songs Iāve done Iāve refined them time and time again until Iām happy. There is no right length for a song but something around the 3-4 min mark is generally standard. I wouldnāt worry about your solo but you can include a rhythm bridge ( which is where a solo might go).
Keep working on itā¦, youāve already got the the rough diamond just needs a little polishing.
Nice start on this one. So make a solo area. Often you can play a verse or chorus section by itself on r guitar and solo over that. But you need to condense this and shoot for around 3 minutes in length as you will lose many a listener with such a long songsā¦ You are on the right track and have all the tough part done. You just need some concentrated eding to make this a āspecialā one.
Keep rockān,
LB
That is sounding good, Kevin.
Like others here, I canāt call myself a song-writer or music producer, having only produced a few original songs myself.
Iād echo Jasonās suggestion to write out the structure. Without taking notes, sounded like you had a verse, a pre-chorus, and a chorus. Perhaps there was a bridge in there towards the end?
The song seems to have an Oasis like feel to it, maybe just the chords, but if you are influenced by Oasis, then maybe listen to some of there similar songs and see how that might inspire you.
As for time, Iād see it two ways. From a typical commercial song intended for radio-play, then it is probably too long. That under 4, even 3-3.5 minutes guide is there for good reason.
But if the lyrics all talk to you and once youāve reviewed structure so it all flows still then nothing wrong with producing longer songs, artists like Neil Young, Bruce Springsteen, Bob Dylan have written longer songs.
If you keep it longer then you may want to think about how you keep the accompaniment interesting for a longer period of time. For example you could start off finger-picking a shift to strumming, or you could change the strumming patterns more. And if interested you could produce the song as a multi-track and work the arrangement to include other instruments and layers.
The only other thing I wondered about was the percussive strum. Itās beyond me to know for sure, but was it in time ie say on the final beat of a bar. Once you are recording it would be awkward to have a free-style pause.
Once again, well done, keep working it.
Thanks for the responses!
It really makes a difference to record the whole song, and see things to change/try something different.
I guess it gets āeasierā the more songs you write (or that I hope).
Iām going to try things you guys said, and especially analysing songs that I love could be interesting.
Iām also trying it on the electric with different settings/effects (playing around with the Boss Katana), lots of cool sounds to try.
Cheers!
Awesome (and congratulations)!
I agree with much that has already been said. Iād ādiagramā the song to identify the sections and make it easier to think about moving stuff around. As for length, Iād say youāre pushing into āa little too longā territory for what listeners are accustomed to in this style, but there are no real rules for that. If you want to make it āas long as it wants to be,ā then go for it.
If you want to trim things a bit you could target some of the non-singing bars at the end of the sections (e.g., end of verse, end of chorus), and possibly shorten the intro. Your chorus also has two sections, A and B. The first time you present the chorus in an ABA format. The second time (at the end of the song) you present it as ABABA. You might be able to play with that, too, by either modifying the structure or by shortening some of the āAā sections of the chorus.
After the first chorus you play a few bars of instrumental chords. You might consider changing up the chords there to make it more like a bridge, thus varying the harmony and breaking things up.
Anyway, those are just some ideas. Youāve got a solid song, here. Well done! Let us know if you continue to work on it and polish it. Iād love to hear where you end up with it.
Bravo Kevin, that was superb.
Congratulations on your first composition as well.
I picked up a slight, Oasis influence within the song.
Some exciting times ahead I feel.
Congratulations, Kevin, well done!
And what a great first effort.
Thereās something hugely satisfying about creating something yourself, irrespective of what anyone else thinks about it.
Good vibes! 
The (hopefully helpful) criticism: a couple of years ago on a song-writing course, it was emphasised that the more general (non-specific) the lyrics are, the less they will grab the listenerās interest. Small details (smells, textures, sounds etc.) draw the listener in and give a focus for the imagination.
Itās hard to do, (I know, Iāve tried 
) but can work really well.
Oh yeah, obviously the more you do it the better you get 
Thanks to all for the responses and going through the song, really.
Iāll give it a go at playing around with the structure.
I found it quite interesting, and very encouraging, Iāll keep writing and see what pops up 
Kevin, excellent start to your song writing journey. I was a big oasis fan growing up and I can hear from your song that they have inspired you too. In terms of song length itās not uncommon for Oasis songs to be around the 5 minute mark. You just need to make sure that the catchy bit where every one sings along takes most of that time.
Kevin
That would be a shed load of good vibes on the old forum ! Really good platform you have created, all the framework is there. Good progression and vibe, flowing catchy melody and some good lyrics. Yes a bit long but some strategic solo type bridges here and there would help that but then it would be longer ! Always a catch 22 somewhere. I am no singer songwriter and my only originals were stock I IV Vs ! so I defer to the advice already given by those much wiser than I ! But enjoyed it immensely.
Cheers
Toby
Thank you so much, Iāve heard the Oasis vibe from a lot of friends I showed the song to, and it makes me very happy!
@TheMadman_tobyjenner Thank you very much sir, Iām glad you enjoyed it!
Iāve written a couple more since this so expect more! Planning on posting them when theyāre more polished than this
Cheers!
Looking forward to hearing the latest ones when youāre ready to share. Iām glad youāve found that inspiration and the joy it brings.