My 10 year old daughter who is also learning to play guitar wrote this song and after a little bit of work together we decided on this as the final version. I hope you enjoy it and any feedback is welcome.
Delightful Eddie, lovely lyrics, such vivid imagery, and your playing sounded good. Well done on playing through the one moment’s slight hesitation, that is a good ability to develop.
Share the applause with Milly.
What sort of feedback would you like? Original songs are ever so personal and feedback easily becomes more personal ideas and opinions that may or may not be helpful.
Well done Milly. What a great song!
You have already provided feedback with your comments.
I suppose I always wondered how my singing sounded to other people as I still find it strange to listen to my own voice. I usually only attempt to sing a song when I have the guitar part nailed (so I only need to concentrate on one thing).
Thanks again and really appreciate the positive response!
That was an excellent song Eddie, so please tell Milly, a very well done.
Nice playing and your singing is mighty fine. We never (I say we as in I mean me) like the sound of our onw voice on a listen back, so I’ve stopped doing it.
Not long ago I didn’t think I would be confident enough to post a video of me singing. Am glad I found this platform!
Nice one Eddie.
That’s a great first entry to AVOYP, well done to both you (for recording and posting) and Milly (for writing)!
Very proud of my daughter for writing it.
I really Appreciate all the positive comments.
Well played… but that was the easy job. …But Milly you did the hard en the best work…applause to you
Congratulations on a great collaboration between you and your daughter. Well played and sung. You both have something to be very proud of.
What a fantastic debut, Eddie
Apart from the bleedin’ obvious amazeballs of singing your daughters song (I’m working on one with my son at the moment), a couple of positives that jump out are: You appear relaxed while performing, have a good sense of rhythm, can look at the camera instead of the fretboard, and your singing is in tune.
I wouldn’t call this the final version though. You and Millie should keep it as a touchstone that you revisit every now and again along your journeys. You might find a chorus that sings to you both or, God forbid, develop the need for a bridge
Keep 'em coming
Vocals are good - nothing to shy away from there.
Playing was tight and both parts came together very well.
If you’re open to suggestions?
I’d try incorporating the “Imaginary World” outro earlier in the song as well - make it the chorus. Get it in there as the hook.
Cheers Digger. Glad you liked it and always open to suggestions, as it’s the best way to improve.
Nicely done. I like originals and this is a good one! Great job and let your daughter know that please! Might want to change up the vocal melody though as it got a bit repetitive… Maybe it was in there, a chorus I am talking about? But if not, I would consider writing one and adding it. That would break things up and add a great touch to this one!
All the best to both of you!
Really appreciate your advice. Writing original songs is something I am trying to get into. This was our first time dipping our toes in the water so constructive feedback like this is great.
This was excellent! And please tell Milly she is a great song writer!
Cheers Mark!!! Much appreciated!
Really good song. Inspiring lyrics. You have good rhythm too!
Awesome! Nice writing, keep it up! Gogo!
She’s 10?? Definitely a talent worth cultivating. I wish I could play to camera like you. Love your voice too - reminds me of latter day Neil Diamond.