Last Orders - original

I’ve been doing a lot of original stuff lately so it’s probably time I shared something. No video for this. No excuses. I just don’t. :joy:
No deep explanation for the lyrics. You can take what you want if you wish. I hope you enjoy it if you come across it.

Last Orders

There’s a bird outside your window,
But she’s not on your mind
A breeze suspends a playing crow
And paints a canvas down below
Youre best is left behind.
You said you’d watch the sky tonight,
The moon dressed up in style
But you traded stars for city lights.
The chance to see a bar room fight
You couldn’t make the time

Chorus
Life will close the door,
It’s time to go you can stay here no more
Don’t miss last orders flashing lights
Or hear the last bell ring
No one’s here to hear you sing.

You told the dog youd play
But you’ve to make a call
He waits for playtime every day.
He don’t believe a word you say
Just lies beside his ball
You came close once or twice
You thought you’ll get to hear
The laughter of your fathers voice,
The moment passed without a choice.
You waste your time on fear

Chorus

It’s time make that train
Write that poem, take the drive,
Talk again to ease the pain.
Go dancing in the rain,
It’s time to Feel alive.

Life will close the door,
It’s time to go you can stay here no more
Don’t miss last orders flashing lights
Or hear the last bell ring
No one’s left to hear you sing.
You saw last orders flashing lights
You heard the last bell ring
It’s time for them, to hear you sing.

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I like that song, Dom, very nice indeed, cheers HEC

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Always enjoy your offerings, Dom :grinning_face:
Mind, I’m never quite sure whether you’re sharing the final version of your crafted song, or looking for feedback :thinking:
If it’s the former: I like it. It’s wistful & broody; Cat’s-in-the-Cradle-Cohen; thematically continuing from your last song about your dad.
If the latter: I felt the chorus was a bit too similar to the verses. I was hoping for some kind of change. But that’s personal taste.
I’m not sure I could have resisted ending the song with the line:
“Have you no homes to go to?” :roll_eyes: :laughing:

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Always the feedback Brian. This was a first cut at it and I had a gnawing in my stomach with the transition from verse to chorus as you said. It needs a little punctuation.

Regarding the theme, while there is a parental reference, it’s not intentionally placed there as a player in the main subject matter. I might remove it as it’s distracting

Thanks for the great feedback

1 Like

Thanks Hec

1 Like