Hello folks!
Here is a step towards my biggest musical goal for 2025; to write more!
It is only fitting that my first original recording is dedicated to my wife Lindsey.
The song might morph a little bit as we go, but I’m working on writing the next one! I hope that you all like this 
Thats Cool Travis well sang man cheers HEC
I certainly like it. A beautiful song, congrats on your composing/lyrics writing skills 
Travis
Well performed: good voccals and very consistent strumming. If any morphing does occur you could probably look at adding more variation to the melody: the current melodic line is quite short and repetitive. I look forward to hearing any developments.
I though of you the other day Travis when I posted this link, Jeffrey Martin - Walking: his style reminded me of you.
Brian
I really appreciate that @Coda !! I’m at the very beginning of the song writing process, but I’m just trying to do it more, even if what I write or create as a product is trash. Ha!
Thank you @beejay56 !! Yes, I agree with 100% of your assessment! I felt like it needed more, variety, after I listened to it a couple more times. There are a few lines where I’d like to take the melody down instead of up.
I will take note of that in my future songs! Thanks!
Hi Travis,
I took in both versions. To me the YT version is better than the Studio version. Surprising to me is your guitar is thin and distant in the Studio version. I would bring it up. You sing very well with a deep voice. Your songs would benefit perhaps from some added low end in the guitar, so that it comes up and sort of matches or is in the same tonality range as your voice.
In spots in the Studio versions I could almost hear some Tome Petty “Free Fallin” in there. That was cool.
Lastly, I think in your writing on this song it would benefit from adding a good chorus section(s) to it. The song kind of goes along at one even keel and the chorus would break that up and make it more interesting. I would change up the chorus, maybe making it faster with a little more level so that it stands out, over the versus. A good chorus section well might be what a listener takes away and is found humming after taking in your song.
I hope that helps you by giving you something to think about in your writing mode. I think honest feedback is better than a pat on the back, which at times is a good deal too.
Be well and take care,
LB
Thank you for your awesome feedback @LBro !!
The song has a chorus, but it’s short and doesn’t separate enough from the verses. I switched up the melody a bit at the bridge, but not enough.
I’ll try messing with the lows more. That might make a big difference for all of my songs and recordings actually!
I’m very humble and am still learning, like everybody in this forum. I prefer honest opinions over fluff, and your opinions generally seem to be pretty good from what I’ve seen, so thank you!
That will all help me when I write the next one
Hi again,
Yeah, if you had a chorus and bridge in there and I missed it. Then it tells me something! In that they were so similar, they were easy to miss. IMHO, it should be the opposite and they should really stick out more. Think about dynamics, song dynamics. Instead of a sort of flatline deal, it should ebb and flow as it goes, building towards the ending. The chorus should really pop. I have to admit I did not listen to the lyrics well enough and had I, then I probably would have picked up on a chorus. But I guess that is the point. I should be able to tell right away that a chorus section started by it being different than the verse area.
Things to think about for your chorus areas. When you add percussion to your songs, change up the tempo in there of that area, by making it faster. No drums? No big, change up your strumming pattern, maybe add a percussive hit on the guitar. Bring up the chorus section volume level a bit. If your playing a single guitar all the way through in your studio version, consider double tracking the guitars in the chorus section for a fuller sound. But overall, just think about this. What can I do different in the chorus over the verse areas to make the chorus areas stand out above the verses.
EDIT - Additional chorus pointers. Do repeat these sections in the song. You can do something with vocals. Make some backing vocals. They can sing unison with your lead vox, but often a harmony can really make things pop. Sometimes an Ahhhh, Ohoooo, or similar backing vox can really help. Of course, a lot of this is studio work and can’t be done in a one off recording very easy. Your studio version is one where you can get really imaginative. Or if doing a live type of deal or feel, you might want to collaborate with others…
Most of all, keep writing. By so doing, you can’t help but prefect! 
It is good to know your open to constructive feedback. I think in this forum, perhaps we are on the positive so much, that constructive feedback is lost. If one really wants to grow, they need the attitude you have mate! You are on the right track!
Take good care,
LB
All awesome stuff @LBro !!
Thus far in the journey, all of my recordings are one cut. I’m not good enough with reaper yet to mix, add or cut. I’m getting better with effects, I often make a buss to add effects (especially guitar), but I have a ways to go in learning the studio end.
I agree with everything that you said about the chorus section. I’ll probably rework/improve some aspects of this song in the future, but I’ll probably mostly keep in mind what you said for my next original. I really appreciate your thoughts on this. I hope you have a great week!
Traveler