A free ride to the Southside
Heavy legs, but I feel just fine
Bright lights and smiles of sympathy
I’m tired but no going home tonight
Because you took me by surprise
You took me by surprise
The light it fades away
But I haven’t closed my eyes
A distant cry “Oh no”
A voice says “Sorry. I’ll give you some time alone”
Is that my future? 'Cause I feel fine
I’ll keep my eyes open to keep the darkness away
But you took me by surprise
You took me by surprise
The light it fades away
But I haven’t closed my eyes
Pressure
Pressure
Pressure
Just let me sleep
But you took me by surprise
You took me by surprise
The light it fades away
But I haven’t closed my eyes
Well done on another full-production original, Colin
The only way we get better at anything is by doing it and you are on the right path.
Cool beans, or Vibes! as we used to say on the old forum
Talking of which, one small feature that was not often used, but I really liked was the ‘critique’ section. You could ask for a no-holds-barred critique of your song, esp. how folk thought it could be improved. It might have made difficult reading, but I found it much more helpful than platitudes such as ‘That was great!’
Whaddya think @Richard_close2u, is there space for a subsection on originals for ‘critique/advice’ or is the place already too crowded?
Don’t drag @Richard_close2u into this - he went waaaaaaaay beyond the call of duty on my last effort and deserves a rest! Great idea though - or maybe start a wee trend of requesting honest critique when sharing songs? If you want to go to town on this one then please do @brianlarsen!
Good lyrics and original idea for the song. I like the guitar fills as well. If I were to offer a suggestion, maybe try to take deeper breaths and project a little more when singing. Thanks for posting!
Thanks @milesotoole123. Yeah - I’m working on my singing at the moment to try to project more. Cheers for listening and the feedback- much appreciated!
As @brianlarsen alluded to --no need to offer input that really isn’t called for. Sometimes we just want to post/release our music so that we can finalize things and move on to the next bit of exploration. Play on playa!
I support the above! Well done, Colin!
Nice song, well delivered!
Me personally, I’d recommend working on the balance of the parts again (vocals quieter and mayve it’s only me: I’d put less reverb in these). Maybe check against some other song in the genre that you like and adjust the volumes of the tracks.
I feel like I’ve too often asked Richard for things here in the forum , so I don’t want to tag him. But Brian, do you know what he means when he says that it’s all here in the forums already?
I’ve heard you meantioning the old critique category quite some time ago and have felt some urge for more criticism (at least against my own songs) too., so I am sort of missing something similar I think.
In general, I love the positiveness of this forum and am convinced it helps with staying motivated, but I’d like to improve with every song and while I am seeing many of my own limitations quite well alone, I think that someone else might see something differently or could point me to something I am even ignoring.
Yes, I was doing this, but it seemed that only a few saw the request!
But then, I admit, I don’t always feel like criticizing too, because if I do, I’d like to do it thoughtfully.
as we used to say on the old forum
, so I don’t want to tag him. But Brian, do you know what he means when he says that it’s all here in the forums already?