January 2026
I really don’t know how to start a recap on 2025, as my whole life broke into pieces shortly after my last entry at the end of July, and this has been kind of a final stroke to my guitar progress so far.
I’ve been really quiet on this forum for months and this was for a reason.
Those things, that happened, have been really traumatic and I’ve been fully occupied to start to rearrange my whole existance and to face the new situation.
Needless to say, that my practice sessions stopped completely, my guitars just were like strangers from one day to the other and I couldn’t get out one clear single note. I felt, that simply everything I’ve learnt so far, seemed to have disappeared.
It was an all over scary situation, I couldn’t even hear music at this time, it was like being “dead” inside.
I only picked up the guitars in October, very, very slowly, but I was just noodling around for a few minutes, with no aim and motivation, and therefore this has been a really frustrating experience.
Since the beginning of November, those five minute junks, where I picked up a guitar and played some of the old items randomly, with zero progress, got more and more and I found myself spending more and more time again with guitar.
But then, by the end of November, when I was still fighting to rearrange my involuntary “new” life with all the ups and downs, I got some more bad news during my cancer aftercare check- up. Cancer is back and I have been diagnosed as an recidivist with my cancer.
I guess, you can imagine, how hard that hit me again and for a very short time, I’ve been at a point in my life, where giving up would have been an real option.
After some further examinations, that gave me some weeks full of existential anxiety, I finally got two points on the plus side.
First of all, the new carcinoma is very, very small and, so far, it obviously didn’t develop metastases.
So I have to go through another surgery on Thursday, Jan15th, hopefully followed only by radiation therapy. The decision, if I have to go through another chemo, will be made after the surgery.
Needless to say, that my guitar, and also any practice, has been fully neglected again and I didn’t make any progress for the rest of the year.
Meanwhile, I got my mental and physical strenght back, up to a point, where I have a quite positive attitude for the upcoming months of therapy, I still haven’t lost my humour and positiveness. Life can steal me a lot, but not my humour, my laughter and my optimism!
2025 has been the worst year in my whole life and for sure the year with the least progress in my guitar journey. I even did some steps backwards, so to say.
But there was also a heartwarming experience during those difficult last months.
My friends in real life helped me so much and so did some very nice guitar friends here on the plattform. I’ve been overwhelmed by the warmth and affection of all the lovely people, who supported me “Behind the Scenes”.
(I never thought, that the subtitle of my log might get a real meaning!)
So I’m going into therapy the day after tomorrow, and I will still be lurking around and hopefully be back soon to guitar related stuff in this log!
Hopefully my next post will be more positive and filled with new motivation!