When it moved and rattled
And soup in pot had jumped
On the table
Jumped and then fell down,
Jumped and then fell down -
Anyone could be scared!
(Bang! Bang!)
Then all the toys turned their faces away
It’s not their own toy business, they say.
Then he got into the closet.
And he was lying and sleeping in it - in the closet.
Then he woke up, screamed, cried and ate
The softened potatoes from the floor
And taking his favorite green dog with him,
Returned to the closet.
(solo)
And he was lying and sleeping in it - in the closet (x 2)
Can you hear bang bang bang bang in your own head?
Bang bang bang in your ear?
Can you hear bang bang bang bang in your own head?
Bang bang bang do you hear?
When it moved and rattled he was very frightened
When it moved and rattled everyone could be frightened.
Can you hear bang bang bang bang in your own head?
Bang bang bang in your ear?
Can you hear bang bang bang bang in your own head?
Bang bang bang do you hear?
…
Now he is not in this world.
Someday they’ll find his skeleton
Among the decayed jackets and hemlines.
The finders might have laughed -
The skeleton is in the closet!
No one will laugh.
They will get this little skeleton,
Clinging to a colorless dog.
And they’ll take it all out
Into the terrible daylight.
Liking that a lot Leo and nothing like I expected.
Those lyrics sent me a real curve ball and in know way did I anticipate this style of song, in fact they had me stumped on the style direction you were heading in.
As David said quite retro and not normally my cup of tea but it worked really well and you blended those words in effortlessly. And as usual playing and production was yet again right up there.
I read your lyrics once. I read them twice and still had no clue what the music would be like. After I had pressed play, I thought… right, makes sense…
Leo… You wrote a horror story and illustrated it with really fitting music
I have to slightly disagree with David and Toby in that your music in my ears sounded industrial but with a dose of hyperpop. There is a strong electrovibe about it well, and this piece would be highly danceable, I guess.
The solo or better the part without singing was very good, I think There, your electric guitar part was absolutely great, stingy and beautifully illustrating the horror of it all. All in all, the music was the strongest in this building block, you are creating this strangely intense atmosphere there
Given how amazingly good you are at what you are doing, I would enjoy a bit more of this intensity in the other verses and chorus … Hard to describe, but maybe taking the whole thing a bit more to the extreme, making it a bit more painful somehow, would make your song even better than it is now?
You expect a 68 yr old (nearly) rocker to know what this is Leo’s the same age, guess he might know what you are talking about ! Explains some of the wired stuff when looking for samples on EZDrummer. Electrovibe YES that explains 80s Retro. I rest my case. Man you young kids !
You’ve done many covers in many genres, Leo, but I can’t recall, is this your first original?
Cool creativity
Eating soft potatoes off the floor, green dogs, incessant banging in your head…
We all have skeletons in our closets, Leo, but you seem to have a whole ossuary in yours
Keep 'em coming
Wow, Leo, that came a little unexpected, but I like surprises.
The atmosphere you created works well, so dark. Suits the lyrics really well. It had some eletro, some retro-synthie and also quite a modern touch too.
@TheMadman_tobyjenner Toby, don’t worry, I’m around half your age and didn’t know what industrial hyperpop is, either. Glad we have Nicole @JokuMuu and her broad knowledge of genres around to help us out.
Back to topic: Top notch production wise, Leo. It clearly shows lots of effort was going into this and it was totally worth it. Great share!
I didn’t know what hyperpop is until @Siff mentioned it in some context… “Industrial” was easy, because on SoundCloud the song was tagged as industrial rock…
@DavidP, @TheMadman_tobyjenner, @JokuMuu, @brianlarsen, @Lisa_S, @Eddie_09
Thanks, guys for the powerful feedback).
Well, what can I say? I didn’t specifically think in advance what style it would be. But I knew for sure that I had to use dirty synthesizers and a rough guitar. That’s how it turned out.
I called it “industrial rock” because in my understanding it is a more specific direction (including rock, electronica, elements of punk, provocative lyrics) than the general name “industrial music”. And so, yes, the heyday of this style was in the 80s. But hyperpop is, after all, not what I would like to be accused of
Have you noticed that the entire rhythm section consists of a single note, except for the bridge in the third quarter of the song? Believe me, it was not easy to string vocal melodies and guitar solos on this thread. I spent a lot of effort on this thing, corrected it for a long time and brought it to an acceptable result before posting it. So, Nicole, thank you for your kind words, but I can’t improve anything anymore, and I don’t want to.
Thank you, Toby, for reminding me of my first original, in which Mike took part with his cool guitar, and you edited the lyrics.
Keep on rocking,
Leo
@JokuMuu
Dear Nicole,
Maybe we misunderstood each other a little bit? I’m sorry if that’s the case
I really appreciate your comment yesterday, it’s the best in this topic!
Thanks again!
Leo
Super stuff Leo. I liked how you never set off with a style in mind, allowing your creativity to be free and let the song evolve naturally. The end result was really cool and clear to hear the effort that you have put into the song. Production was fantastic to my ears. Well done fella.
Oh Thanks for saying that. I can only guess how much time, love, and effort you invested in this. It’s so obvious. That’s why I was listening so closely and wanted to give somehow useful feedback.
I really feared that I had involuntarily offended you… Once again, thank you.
Hi Leo,
Wow, this has to be way beyound what I was expecting. If I had to tag it with a genre, I might call it Techno, I guess.
Good job though, all around! Nice mix… I heard a little Frankenstein in there too. You sure know how to surprise an old timer! Alas, I am not a techno person, but this came off really well.
There, your electric guitar part was absolutely great, stingy and beautifully illustrating the horror of it all. All in all, the music was the strongest in this building block, you are creating this strangely intense atmosphere there 
Leo’s the same age, guess he might know what you are talking about ! Explains some of the wired stuff when looking for samples on EZDrummer. 
Glad we have Nicole 
