She Dies - an original by JK

[elevatortrim]

Great songwriting and amazing performance @jkahn, both playing and singing.

[nzmetal]

Dude! What the $^#%?! That was mental good!
I have read through the the comments above and agree with many of the comparisons to other artists, however felt this had a uniqueness of its own that I couldn’t say specifically it was like one or another. Taking influence and making it your own, nicely done sir!

Also reading the comments, I wish to differ with what many have said about the vocals, I listened a couple of times through with some good cans and to me the low, melancholic droning style fit well with the depressive vibe. I also don’t have an issue with some of the more indistinct passages, although a lot of the music I listen to there is no way you could ever understand what they’re saying, so… .

My preference, typically, with vocals is to not know all the lyrics and leave them open for interpretation. As long as I have a good feel for what the song is trying to portray, I still like some mystery. Sometimes I find reading the actual lyrics a bit of disappointment, although not saying that in this case as I haven’t read the lyrics, chose to skip over them in the comments above But from what I picked up listening, I found them haunting and very much enjoyed the phrasing.

@DavidP

Maybe a good approach is to share lyrics and hide them like I did that list of guitarists on my most recent original.

Agree, David, that would be a good approach, best of both worlds

Final comment I really dug that you kept it short, especially for a song this heavy, the 2 minute run time worked perfect for me.

Great job JK. I think you should dust of some of those other “half-baked” ones you have lying around and get them out there my friend

[Rod58]

My next challenge, the singing with finger picking. Well done sir, an original too so two thumbs up!….Rod

[Helen0609]

@nzmetal

My preference, typically, with vocals is to not know all the lyrics and leave them open for interpretation. As long as I have a good feel for what the song is trying to portray, I still like some mystery. Sometimes I find reading the actual lyrics a bit of disappointment

I totally agree. Not to be misunderstood…As a non English person. you hear a lot of music without even realising what someone is singing. And often it’s no loss. My approach to this one comes out of my impression, that if someone like JK writes a song in this genre, in in that mood, he has something to say…and I was curious, what this would be.

[jkahn]

I’m still a bit in awe that you all took the time to check out my weird little song. Thank you. It definitely wasn’t very refined (kind of intentional, I didn’t think it would get much attention). I’m also not trying to establish this as a particular style of mine, it just seemed to work for the song. Some more replies.

@DavidP

Bravo JK, bravo.

I thoroughly enjoyed that. Yup, no lack of enjoyment as a result of minor chords and dark lyrics.

I also got the Leonard Cohen vibe.

Thanks David for all your advice on production and recording. Definitely some new things for me to try next time. The mic does taste pretty good though. I might try it a bit further away with your tips. I should pay a bit more attention to the production stuff. I’ve learnt enough to record and adjust volume and some trial an error with the basic vocal stuff so it’s not totally dry (in Ableton, not Reaper, but same-same). Great suggestions that will help me.

@DavidP

All good, just make music in a way that delights you, nourishes you.

Eating the mic nourishes me . j/k. All playing does.

@losdemas

Understand what others are saying re: (slightly) boomy vocals, etc., but also understand that that is exactly the feel that you are trying to get across and it needs that type of vocal.

Thanks for checking it out Danny, and yes you’re right, I wasn’t trying to enunciate clearly, but then again I wasn’t particularly trying to imitate someone (although there are many comparisons to Cohen of course), I was just trying to get across a certain vibe.

@RobDickinson

Nice mate enjoyed listening to that , ended too quickly.

Thanks Rob, good ideas on adding a break & some variation to add interest. I’m glad you liked it.

@MorseMooseGreyGoose

One of the things I liked about this song is that it is quite atmospheric.

Well that was the intention, so it’s good it came across that way. BTW I still don’t know the lyrics to Fake Plastic Trees even though i’ve listened 1000x times.

@Chazzo78

An amazing original debut dark and moody

Thanks for checking it out Lee, glad you liked it.

@Digger72

Toby mentioned the stuff Katja and I do, but to be honest this reminds me more of the songs I did when I first started writing my own stuff - but your vocals are better.

Probably the first time in my life my vocals have been described as better than someone else’s . I agree it’s far from what I’ve heard of yours, nice to hear it’s similar to some of your early stuff. Thanks for stopping by and checking it out Stephen.

@twistor59

Should be proud of that one.

I wasn’t sure what to think of it when I posted it, so yeah, I guess I am pretty happy with it now! Thanks Phil.

@adi_mrok

Wow JK half the time spent here comparing to me and 100% more done in original content creation, well done

Well I mean Mr Larsen already has us both smoked with original content! Just wait until you see my next RHCP video (lol, yeah right, that’s a long time coming). Thanks for checking it out and the tips.

@sairfingers

The others have said it all JK. Coen, Cave, perhaps you’ve found your vocal niche.

I think I’m still exploring Gordon. My voice is pretty deep and I’m figuring out what works, and trying to expand my range. In fits and starts. Thanks for checking it out.

@elevatortrim

Great songwriting and amazing performance

Thank you Serhat.

[jkahn]

@nzmetal

Dude! What the $^#%?! That was mental good!

I’m glad it came across well. The influence was accidental, I was going for a vibe and that happened. I have been a bit surprised (positively) by a lot of the feedback. Unexpected.

@nzmetal

My preference, typically, with vocals is to not know all the lyrics and leave them open for interpretation.

That was why I didn’t post them initially. I’m fine of course with people knowing them, but it didn’t make sense (to me) for people to read while listening. It’s an audio art form.

@nzmetal

the 2 minute run time worked perfect for me.

That was intentional - keeping it short. I’d rather a song finish too early than overstay its welcome.

@nzmetal

I think you should dust of some of those other “half-baked” ones you have lying around

I think instead of being like half-baked cookie dough or the Ben & Jerry’s flavour, they’d be more like an eggplant pasta bake taken out of the oven too early.

[jkahn]

@Rod58

My next challenge, the singing with finger picking.

Go for it Rod, simple fingerpicking patterns on autopilot are just as easy as singing with strumming once you get them down - that is, not easy to start, but they get there before you think. Thanks for the listen.

@Helen0609

My approach to this one comes out of my impression, that if someone like JK writes a song in this genre, in in that mood, he has something to say…and I was curious, what this would be.

And I’m happy to share the lyrics like I did Andrea

[Silvia80]

Thanks for the lyrics Jk, I have to admit that the feeling of the song was quite clear without understanding each single word and somehow I could form my interpretation of what the song was about…so you win some more praise from me for having conveyed the meaning through music, the words might not have been there, the title was sufficient to get it. Reading the lyrics was an enrichment though…

[Rod58]

@jkahn

simple fingerpicking patterns on autopilot are just as easy as singing with strumming once you get them down

Translation…. “It’s easy once you can do it! “ ……Rod

[brianlarsen]

3 days
25 s
50 comments…
'nuff said!

[Twangmaster]

Excellent JK! I thought that your picking was very regular and clean. The deep voice made me think of Leonard Cohen and Lou Read. I didn’t find any constructive comments about the music. Perhaps just the looking at the camera thing. It was great and excellent to be doing your own songs and sharing them.
Greg

[LBro]

Hi JK,
Gosh, I just about missed this one somehow. I had to do a search on my screen name, to find I had not commented!

Ok, to me this is a good start. My thoughts are you used part of this as an intro and then go full metal. By that I mean use acoustic guitar just as you did for the intro area. Then switch over to electric and wail! Add in some drums and bass too! Maybe back your chorus areas (are there any?) with backing vox!

All the above will create a full song production and it will be good to get one of those under your belt!

All the best,
LB

[TheCluelessLuthier]

Congrats on your first original JK. The guitar work really matched the lyrics and tone of the song.

[jkahn]

Thanks for checking out my weird little song @Twangmaster @LBro @TheCluelessLuthier

@LBro

full song production

I’ll do a full song production one day when the desire strikes, not sure when though, and probably not of this one