This is my first post and sharing of a recording. Thought I would start with an original song I wrote recently. Check it out…looking for feedback. I am venturing to improve my skills in song writing…so thinks like lyrics, melody, pace…etc. my recording is rough, but I am working on that too. thanks I’ll Be Your Hero Again (Updated)
Here are the lyrics…
I’ll Be Your Hero Again
Verse 1
The party has long been over
And everyone’s gone home
In the stillness we’re just shadows
Standing all alone
With nothing much left to say
Never thought we’d be this way
Chorus:
But maybe tonight, I’ll get it right
And I’ll be your hero again,
I’ll be your hero again
Verse 2
I remember there were moments
Not so long ago
In the stillness there was magic
I never could let you go
You held a little piece of my soul
But now it’s not that way
(Repeat Chorus)
Bridge
Can’t say I saw it coming my way
Thought we would always be
Now your heart is somewhere else today
In a place that I can’t see
Don’t know what went wrong
This isn’t where we belong
(Repeat Chorus)
Verse 3
Maybe our paths will cross
In another place or time
In the stillness, maybe I’ll find
A way to be your hero again
Broken hearts will mend
All it takes is time
(Repeat Chorus)
The guitar pattern is good: well played, quite tidy chord changes and consistent timing. The vocal is almost inaudible for a large part of the recording. If there was some way of bringing that up in the mix the song would be better.
That was a really nice song David and the guitar playing/ melody and chord progression was beautiful but I agree with Brian that the vocals were a bit hard to hear so If you can bring them out more then you have a gem of a song.
I loved listening to that David S. Your fingerstyle was very consistent and the chord progression was very pretty. I loved your voice, very easy to listen to but, as others have said, shame we couldn’t hear it too well. I loved it.
It is a really nice tune and your playing was solid. I agree that the vocals were difficult to hear. It would be great if you could provide the lyrics.
Very nice song. Lovely playing - very clean and in time - and the guitar sounded really good in the recording. I agree with the vocals being too low in the mix.
Congrats on sharing your first recording! The guitar sounded lovely, but I’ll echo what the others have said- the vocals were quite hard to hear. I can tell you put a lot of thought into them just based on the emotion I hear in your vocal performance, but most of the time I unfortunately couldn’t make out what the words were.
I would love if you could post the lyrics so we can fully appreciate what you wrote
I added the lyrics and updated the recording…should be clearer on the vocals. I am on learning curve for recording. Lots of trial and error. but i appreciate feedback to get better!!!
Thank you for the lyrics and the updated recording! That was much better
Your song was very well played and the pacing was good to me. Lyrics were good too- I especially liked the first verse.
What I would suggest is maybe looking for ways to add some more dynamics in. While they sound lovely together, there isn’t a lot of variation between the verses and the chorus as far as how they sound. Usually you want the chorus to really hook you in and catch your attention. It’s the part that people will remember when they are done listening so looking for ways to make it stand out more may help. In songs I write, I like to make the bridge really stand out as well, but that is my personal preference. Others may have a different opinion
Jenny,
I get what you are saying…I had changed the bridge too much…and it ended up being too much like the verses. As I work on my songwriting and structure, this is the type of feedback I need…so I don’t fall into a rut thanks. I am looking forward to get more songs out there. Grateful!!1
David
but i appreciate feedback to get better!!!